


A Ninja's Desires

by TheGoodMadame



Category: Naruto
Genre: Homosexual, Killing, M/M, Rape, Sex, kabuto betrayal, kakashi betrayal, kidnapping and abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 09:59:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12885453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoodMadame/pseuds/TheGoodMadame
Summary: Kakashi has always known he didn't feel the way he should about women. In fact, he didn't feel anything towards women, so when he's kidnapped by none other than Orochimaru he begins to feel something. While faking his emotions he realizes that he wasn't faking the love for Orochimaru. || Naruto || Kakashi x Orochimaru || Written January 8th, 2015





	1. Chapter 1

I looked up at the sun as it shined down on Konoha. The day was quiet and peaceful, which was the perfect day for me to hide away in my special garden that no one seemed to know existed and read Jiraiyas new installment in his book series. I knew that the books were aimed towards men who like women but I couldn't help imaging the words with a man instead. I reached the garden and took off my shoes, I listed to the small fish that leapt from the large pond in the middle of the garden and gently placed my feet in the water as it was warmed by the sun’s rays. I hummed quietly thinking about the new group of kids I was going to be training soon and chuckled, I knew none of them would pass the test just as others before them have failed to do.

“Kakashi Hatake.” I looked around after hearing a voice call my name. The voice seemed to echo from all around me as I looked around confused. That was when I felt the heavy and dark chakra enter my sanctuary. As I sat there I felt as though my chest was tightening and my body was not my own. The chakra that entered my sanctuary felt familiar but as my head started to spin and my vision went in and out I couldn’t place who the chakra belonged to. Soon I knew where the chakra was coming from as Sound Five, jumped down from within the trees. At this point I knew exactly who sent them; Orochimaru.

“You’re coming with us, Kakashi.” Kimimaro as I heard one of them address him as looked at the other two and commanded them to lift me from the ground. I assumed he was the leader judging by how he talked to the others. I tried to move to fight but I felt a kunai enter my left hand. I grimaced in pain and looked at the others. They reached towards my face and pulled off the mask that covered my mouth. Tayuya looked like she was going to pass out and I turned my head away from her. I knew in my current state I was not strong enough to resist the Sound Five so they easily bound my arms and legs and lifted me onto Kimimaro’s back. As they started to head off to Otogakure I could hear a shinobi calling my name. I was too weak to glance back but I heard what sounded like a kunai flying through the air and the sound of it piercing flesh then blood splatter and a loud thud. I knew immediately they killed the shinobi after us and I couldn’t help but feel responsible even though I never asked to be taken.

It seemed like ages before we finally reached the gates of Otogakure. I could see the shinobi and even the normal village people looking at me as they brought me through the gates. They ignored the stares and walked straight through a set of red double doors then to the left through a normal green door. When we finally entered the green door the whole atmosphere changed. It felt dark and damp and the second we went below I could see why. It was the dungeon area. The sound five removed my headband before throwing me into the cell. I hit the wall hard and immediately blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke looking into the eyes of none other than Orochimaru himself. He was smirking as he traced my eye which held the Sharingan. I tried to pull away from his touch only to find that my arms were bound above my head with heavy rusted chains and a metal collar was placed around my neck to the point I couldn’t move more than two inches away from the wall. Orochimaru smirked towards me more seeing the helplessness in my face. I growled in his direction and with one sharp movement he slapped me across the face roughly. I looked at him stunned for a moment before growling again. Orochimaru reached up and unchained my arms from the wall but kept the collar around my throat. He took the collar’s chain from the wall and yanked me up. Now that I got to freely look around I could see the deep grey of the stone brick walls as well as the rusted iron bars of jail cells that seemed to line the dungeon.

Orochimaru yanked the chain causing me to stumble forward as he continued to drag me. When we got to where we were going I looked around and noticed a bed in the middle of the room. Besides the bed there wasn’t anything else in the room except chains on various parts of the walls.

“Get on the bed, Kakashi.” I was nervous as to what he was planning but I was at his mercy so I silently crawled onto the bed. Orochimaru watched intently as I sat on the bed and kept my head down, although I couldn’t see him staring I felt the intense feeling of his stare. I glanced up and saw him walking over to the bed, he looked towards the door and motioned for someone to come in. I knew the face that entered the room I had seen him around the leaf village seemingly following me.

“Kabuto, bring me a set of knives and a set of our villages clothes. Tell Kimimaro to bring me his headband as well.” The one known as Kabuto bowed before leaving the room to do as Orochimaru said.

“Do you know why you’re here Kakashi?” I raised my head all the way and looked over at Orochimaru. I didn’t want to speak so I pointed to my Sharingan eye because to me that was the only reason he could possibly want me.

“No, that’s not why you’re here. Although I do have a fascination with that eye it isn’t why I brought you here. You see I was feeling a desire, an attraction if you will, for you. I wanted you and I couldn’t figure out why, which is why I’ve decided you will stay here as one of my ninja and be given the curse mark so if you should try to escape I will forever own you. Do you understand?” I nodded in a stunned state. I couldn’t believe what this madman just said to me, he really just confessed an attraction to me and as I sat there thinking about it, I realized what good could come from. But I also thought about all the bad.

I felt a searing pain in my neck and glanced down grimacing. Orochimaru’s teeth were sunk deep into my throat and as he bit harder I yelled in pain. Orochimaru pulled away and I fell back onto the bed.

“Kiss me, Orochimaru. Please kiss me.” Orochimaru looked confused as I gasped in pain but shrugged and pressed his lips against mine. I felt a feeling that can only be described as fireworks going off and kissed against his lips deeper. He pulled away and stood up walking out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

I paced the hallway outside of the makeshift bedroom as I thought to myself. I didn’t hear Kabuto approaching so when he cleared his throat I slightly jumped. He looked at me strangely before bowing and handing me what I asked for. I realized that I let Kakashi stay in the bedroom without being tied down and he hadn’t even tried to escape yet, I sent Kabuto away before hurrying into the bedroom seeing Kakashi laying on his side asleep on the bed. I looked at him and walked closer so I could see if he was genuinely sleeping or luring me into a trap but once I was close enough I watched the rise and fall of his chest in a rhythmic manor and heard the light snores that escaped his mouth. I knew Kakashi was honestly asleep at this point. I set the knives on the floor and gently rolled Kakashi over so he was on his back and started removing his clothing gently.

I didn’t want to look at his body as I removed his clothes but I did look. I saw abs that although weren’t huge or bulky they were perfect on him. When I had all but his boxers off I wanted to look under the boxers but instead I slipped the bottom half of my village’s outfit onto his body then gently raised him into my chest as I began to put on the second part. It wasn’t easy to do by myself but I didn’t want Kabuto touching his body. I picked up Kakashi’s headband and slashed a line through it then tied a new Sound Ninja headband around his throat.

“Orochimaru?” Kakashi lazily looked up at me as I finished tying his headband into place. I looked down at him and nodded.

“Go back to bed, Kakashi.” He nodded and nuzzled his head into the bed. As I watched his sleeping form I felt guilty, I felt guilty because I knew what I was going to do to him soon and he didn’t. I glanced towards the knives from the corner of my eye then back towards Kakashi. I summoned Kabuto and looked towards him.

“It’s time Kabuto. I don’t want to wait any longer.” Kabuto bowed and I clasped the shackles that were attached to the bed onto both of Kakashi’s arms and legs. I looked down at Kakashi who was as oblivious as to what we were going to do and felt a twinge of pain surface. I raised a knife from the set and handed it to kabuto. He shook his head and instead took out a small needle and made chakra strings. He threaded the needle easily and began to sew Kakashi’s mouth shut, at this point from the pain Kakashi woke up confused. He looked up at me pleadingly with his eyes as Kabuto finished the last stitch. I couldn’t take the feeling of guilt and walked from the room, I punched the wall annoyed at myself because I was letting my feelings get to me and I knew that by doing I was jeopardizing the whole integrity of this village. I walked close to the door without looking in so I could keep an eye on Kabuto.

“This is going to hurt a lot.” I could almost hear the grin in his voice before finally hearing the knife dig into Kakashi’s skin. I tried covering my ears when I heard the loud, pained, muffled screams coming from Kakashi as Kabuto carved out his eye. I didn’t hear any chakra or any jutsu’s being done so when Kabuto walked out I rushed in to Kakashi. The strings in his mouth were gone and his empty eye socket was bandaged. You could see blood seeping from under the bandage and Kakashi himself looked like death. I made haste to get to his bedside and feel his pulse. I could just barely feel it and as I stepped away from his bedside I knew I had made a huge mistake.

I found a piece of paper and scrawled a quick note, I unshackled Kakashi, and lifted him into my arms. I used my tongue to pick up the jar which held his eye and laid it on his stomach. I ran upstairs and out the doors without second thoughts. I knew I had to save him before he left this plain of existence and as I ran towards the leave village I noticed spiky white hair. The same white hair I grew up with and jumped down to meet face-to-face with Jiraiya.

“Please you have to save him, I didn’t mean to. God I never wanted to hurt him like this. I wasn’t thinking.” Jiraiya seemed surprised by the urgency in my voice as I was usually the evil one of the group. He took Kakashi from my arms and before he could look up I jumped into a tree; hidden from view.

“I can only try to save him Orochimaru.” Jiraiya started to run towards the Leaf Village and I laid back against the tree.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s been months since I had awoken at the Leaf Village infirmary with Jiraiya watching over me. When I didn’t see Orochimaru a part of me felt relieved but a part of me felt pained, I knew that even though I faked the feelings towards Orochimaru for my own safety I couldn’t help but feel that part of me didn’t want to fake those feelings and this confused me. I wasn’t in love with that monster yet I still had very strong feelings for him that I couldn’t describe as anything other than love. I knew that no matter these feelings I couldn’t return to Otogakure. Not after what Kabuto had whispered in my ear as he sliced out my eye, I still remember those words to this very day _you make my lord very uncomfortable, you make him soft. I can’t have that._ I shuddered thinking about the pain when he was done taking out my eye and the feeling of the strings ripping through muscle and tissue as he removed the strings. I also remember him dripping something into my mouth and my world suddenly started to feel dark.

I sat back against a tree with Jiraiya standing in front of me. We watched Naruto Uzumaki, the only child of my long dead mentor, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha. They were arguing over something trivial that I wasn’t all that interested in. I looked at Jiraiya and he was looking down at me.

“What’s on your mind Kakashi?” I stood up and turned towards him completely.

“What was in my body the day you found me? And how exactly did you exactly find me?” Jiraiya sighed, he knew that it was time I be told the truth and he knew I was finally stable enough to hear it.

“There was a unique poison in your body, crafted by someone who knew what he was doing and therefore we haven’t been able to break down the ingredients. As for the day you were found, Orochimaru handed you to me. He was stuttering and if snakes could cry he would’ve been crying. He wanted me to save your life but never mentioned anything about a poisoning which is why we almost lost you.”

I felt anger rising in my body, Kabuto had indeed poisoned me, “That’s because he didn’t know about the poisoning. His little helper had decided to poison me in an attempt to refocus Orochimaru on some kind of plan. It seems as though Kabuto is starting to run the show. Jiraiya, I need you to take over my team I need to pay someone a visit.” I growled under my voice.

“Kaka-“ I jumped into the tree and was gone before he had a chance to continue speaking. I was running to Otogakure as fast as I could manage, ignoring anything that tried to get in the way. I think it was about time Orochimaru learned the truth of Kabuto’s ways.

When I approached the village I knew immediately something was wrong. The entire village was dead silent, there no ninja, no people, nothing. I fear the worse so I ran into the mansion that was Orochimaru’s home. I stopped for moment and summoned my dogs, I sent them out the find Orochimaru. I awaited the return of my dogs staring at the door that lead to the dungeon when they returned without finding him I opened the door and started to descend into the dungeon. I first noticed the ceiling light was off, something that it hadn’t ever been when I was here for that short time. I heard a kunai whirling through the air but wasn’t fast enough to stop it from entering my shoulder. I yelled in surprise and heard a whimper, I knew immediately it was Orochimaru by the tone of his voice. I felt my hand along the wall and flipped the light switch on. I was faced to face with Kabuto and to my left Orochimaru looked beaten in a cell.

I looked back at Kabuto and noticed he wasn’t alone. There was a man with light blue hair and a woman with striking red hair. They each held weapons in their hands and I knew at that point this fight wasn’t going to be a very fair fight.


	5. Chapter 5

I removed my headband which covered my sharingan eye and used my summoning to bring in my dogs. I knew right away that I couldn’t win the fight, but, if I could injure them or at the very least bring down Kabuto then this battle will have been a success. I heard groans of pain and looked to see Orochimaru slowly starting to come to, he looked at the odds against me as soon as he did I saw the concern in his face. I didn’t have time to speak to him as the redhead stepped forward, I activated my sharingan and when she began to make hand signs I made sure I copied her. When our jutsu’s clashed I could see Kabuto speaking to the one with blue hair. When I saw the hand signs he made I realized they were the same Zabuza had been making on the bridge. I didn’t even have to use the sharingan to follow the hand signs as I knew them well enough, and I knew that just as Zabuza had the blue haired man was creating mist to block my sharingan.

“Kakashi, the redhead, her name is Karin. Her special technique is she heals you when you bite her. I wouldn’t consider her a threat. The blue hair is Suigetsu. He’s a ninja from Kirigakure.” I nodded at the small piece of information that Orochimaru had given me; even in his weak state he was attempting to help. I watched Suigetsu fill the room with a thick mist and I knew at this point my sharingan was weak and utterly useless. I jumped from my spot as Karin tried to slash down at me with a small kunai that had a bomb attached. She didn’t seem to be putting in her full potential and eventually I realized why. She wasn’t following Kabuto, she didn’t want to follow him, and in fact I believe her to be simply putting on a show to get back at Kabuto. She was loyal to Orochimaru. I grabbed Karin from the back and covered her mouth so I could whisper into her ear.

“Listen to me closely Karin, I see through your act. I want you to help me stage as though you’ve taken me down. I need to help Orochimaru otherwise we’re both doomed you understand? If something happens to me then I can’t save Orochimaru or Otogakure and I know you don’t want something to happen to the one place you feel normal.” Karin looked back at me and nodded.

“I’m going to let a bomb hit me, it will injure me bad enough I won’t be able to fight but that can be quickly healed. I need to know you’re one hundred percent with me okay?” She turned to face me and crossed her heart with one of her fingers. I nodded and she prepped another bomb. I braced myself and she threw it at my feet, she jumped from the explosion radius and when the explosion cleared I was on the ground struggling to get up with little success. Kabuto walked over and pat Karin on the head before opening Orochimaru’s cell and bending down to my level. He took out a kunai and sliced across my arm, he was a medical ninja and he knew exactly where to slice that would cause me to bleed out.

“I told you I’d kill you if you ever returned.” I spat at Kabuto and he kicked me roughly into the concrete wall behind Orochimaru, I gasped out in pain and landing on the cold floor next to Orochimaru. Kabuto and the others left the dungeon, Karin glanced back to see if I was okay but I waved her on and sat up in the cell.

“Kakashi, what did Kabuto mean when he said that?” I looked at Orochimaru and sighed.

“Orochimaru, taking out my eye didn’t almost kill me. Kabuto did. He poisoned me and told me that I made you weak and that I made you lose focus on the plan. Kabuto planned to kill me from the very beginning and if you hadn’t sent the sound five he probably would’ve succeeded. Kabuto followed me around the leaf village weeks before the day you took me, at first,” I gasped in pain as my arm burned, “at first I assumed you sent him but now I know he was stalking his prey.” Orochimaru looked at me in pain and I pulled him against me.

“I’ve put your life in danger, worse I’ve killed you…” I looked down at him and sat him up so he was looking at me.

“Don’t worry I’m going to be fine, I managed to make a plan with Karin okay?” Orochimaru nodded and I looked at the ceiling of the cells feeling dizzy from the blood loss in my arm. I heard the ripping of fabric and looked to see Orochimaru tearing his shirt and wrapping it tightly around my wrist. I hoped that Karin would come soon because I couldn’t lose much more blood without potentially dying.


	6. Chapter 6

The door to the dungeon opened and as the footsteps grew closer I saw that it was Karin. She opened the door the cell and walked in closing it gently behind her. I could see immediately that something was wrong as she sat down beside us. I sat up weakly and held my arm against my chest. Orochimaru sat up as well from his spot on the floor, and looked over at Karin.

“Kabuto knows, I swear I didn’t tell him. He knew somehow and he’s going to be separating you two. He’ll be taking you Kakashi to the lab and once you’re in there I can’t access you because no one is allowed in the lab. My lord he’ll be removing you from this cell and tying you up in a location that I do not even know. I can only look for you but I swear I’ll try my hardest. Kakashi I need you to bite my arm otherwise you’re going to die with that arm.” I nodded and she crawled closer to me pulling up her sleeves. Her arms were covered in healed bite marks and I couldn’t help but imagine how much those must’ve hurt her. I grabbed her arm gently and bit down, I kept biting until I felt my flesh starting to heal and my strength returning to me. I pulled away and looked at Karin.

Karin jumped up and quickly left the cell; locking it behind her. I noticed the thud of footsteps descending the stairs and laid my arm back against my check to act as though it was still injured. Kabuto appeared in the doorway to the dungeon and looked at Karin, he then looked at me before approaching Karin. I could see by his face that he heard every word of what Karin had said so before he could do anything I quickly made chidori hand signs and ran up to the cell door pushing is straight in Kabuto’s direction. Karin took the hint and ran out the door while I was distracting Kabuto.

I knew I was risking my life but I was going to make sure that Kabuto paid. Kabuto looked at me angrily before unlocking the cell and throwing me out of it. He stood over me before kicking into my rib cage which in turn made me hit the wall that was behind me. I knew Kabuto was pissed at this point and that was exactly what I wanted because when you’re angry you fight blindly. I grabbed Kabuto’s fist and pinned him up against the wall, I struggled to hold him as I looked back at Orochimaru.

“Orochimaru, he left the door open! Run! Follow Karin’s chakra and both of you go to the leaf village, get Jiraiya he’s the only one who can help!” Orochimaru looked at me like he didn’t want to leave but I looked at him harshly and he nodded in defeat. He stood from the floor of the cell and dispersed into snakes leaving the room. When he was out I jumped back and looked at Kabuto.

“Damn you leaf ninja!” I smirked and began making hand signs.

“I’m not a leaf ninja anymore Kabuto, you should know that. Orochimaru made me a sound ninja.” I made a chidori between my hands and ran at Kabuto. I shoved it right in his direction but he dodged and it blew up part of the wall. I took my slashed out leaf ninja headband off and slipped my sound ninja headband around my neck.

“I was made a ninja of the sound to protect Orochimaru, and that’s exactly what I’ll do. Even if it’s to the death.” Kabuto ran at me with scalpels on chakra strings, I quickly made a substitution and dodged the scalpels but I didn’t see that Suigetsu had entered the room and he hit me roughly with the dull edge of the sword he carried. I fell but pushed off my hands and landed up right. This fight had become extremely unfair, again.

“Give up now Kakashi, drop your kunai.” I smirked and looked down at the bomb kunai I held in my hand.

“If you say so.” I threw the kunai in my hand at both of their feet and before they could react I blew them up giving me just enough time to get out the door and into the courtyard where I could better hide. From my hiding spot I could see Karin and Orochimaru running from Otogakure and knew I could give up know but I was going to fight until they brought me down.


	7. Chapter 7

As I sat in the tree I heard a kunai hit the tree, I was too slow to react as I realized it was a bomb and the tree exploded. I lost my footing as pieces of tree flew everywhere and I fell on the ground. I felt a stinging in my side and when I looked down the wound I was impaled by a piece of the exploded tree. It wasn’t a gigantic piece but it was large enough that I couldn’t move as blood poured from my side. I tried to stand as Suigetsu walked over to me but I failed and fell back onto my side yelling out as fire ran through my body.

“You lose Kakashi.” I spat at Suigetsu. Kabuto walked over and looked down at me. He smirked knowing I couldn’t move which meant I couldn’t fight him. He yanked me up and began dragging me towards the mansion. When inside the mansion I was lifted up by sound ninja and taken to the lab where I was sat on my knees and my arms lifted over my head shackled in place. When Kabuto walked into the room he had a blood red robe on and was followed by Suigetsu who also had a robe of similar color on. I didn’t bother trying to fight as my body roared with a fiery pain. Kabuto walked over and took out a scalpel. He sliced gently across the veins in my wrist and allowed the blood to drip down into my hair.

I felt something changing inside me that radiated from my neck and thought about the curse mark. The black stripes of the curse mark began covering my body and I looked up at Kabuto smiling a menacing smile. I knew he had seen the curse mark a million times so it didn’t faze him but I needed to pretend that I was different. I needed to pretend that it changed me in the most sadistic manor possible. I looked up at the shackles and allowed my blood to drip down onto my tongue, I licked my lips and looked over at Kabuto smiling wider. Now he had taken a step back and I knew I started to unnerve him. I broke my wrists as I wormed my hands from the shackles and stood up, my body kind of hunched over but I laughed as the adrenaline and the pain overcame my body.

“What’s wrong? Don’t seem so tough now.” I chuckled and Suigetsu retreated outside the mansion while Kabuto tried to hold his composure together. I began walking towards him as my body swayed back and forth. Kabuto was shaking as I picked up a scalpel. I grabbed Kabuto by the hair as he attempted to escape and drug him over to the shackles. I fastened him into them and looked down at him smirking. Even though I was supposed to be pretending I could feel that this was me. I had become a monster and I didn’t even mind. I liked the feeling.

“Kakashi please let me go!” I laughed loudly and looked down at him.

“Did you let me go? I don’t think so.” I stabbed the scalpel through his glasses and into his eye. I cut around the eye before grabbing it and ripping it out with Kabuto screaming the entire time. I repeated the process getting blood all over my body and laughed as Kabuto whimpered in submission. I looked at all the untensils in the lab and grabbed a pack of large hypodermic needles. I took the needles and one by one slowly punctured through Kabuto’s mouth keeping his mouth almost stapled shut. I picked up the scalpel again and quickly slit Kabuto’s throat. He whimpered and struggled to breathe before he finally gave him. I unshackled him and drug his body into the throne room. I carefully tied Kabuto above the throne of the kage in a crucifixion manor. I grabbed the Kage robe and slipped my arms into it, I slipped on the hat next and sat in the throne awaiting the return of Orochimaru.


	8. Chapter 8

As I walked into Otogakure with Karin and Jiraiya I knew immediately that something was terribly wrong. I could see the explosion debris all over the courtyard and I could see a large blood pool that didn’t look to be more than an hour old. I ran off quickly from the other searching the dungeon and the lab, when I got to the lab I nearly wanted to vomit. There was blood everywhere and the smell was so overwhelming I didn’t know what to do. I thought about all the places that Kabuto could’ve taken Kakashi and I thought immediately the throne room. I pushed on the ear piece that was inside my ear and waited until I heard Karin answer.

“Meet me in the throne room. I’ve checked the lab and dungeon, neither are there.” I didn’t wait for her response and I started to run in the direction of the throne room. When I entered and saw the body hanging on the wall my first thought was that it was Kakashi but as I entered farther I realized that it wasn’t Kakashi, it was Kabuto. I looked towards the throne where I saw someone wearing my Kage robes and hurried to their side. I could hear Karin puking in the background but I paid no mind to her as I lifted the hat to reveal Kakashi covered in the curse mark with a giant tree branch in his side. I stumbled away from Kakashi, falling from the throne, I landed in someone’s arms but I couldn’t look away from what I created.

“Oroch...imaru...” When I heard my name I pushed away from whoever caught me and went to Kakashi’s side. He opened his eyes and looked up at me with a look of such hurt and betrayal. I knew I deserved the guilt I felt as Kakashi squeezed my hand in pain.

“It hurts…” I knew his body was probably in a massive amount of pain. I looked back at Karin as she regained her posture.

“Can you heal him, Karin? Please tell me you can.” Karin walked over and looked at Kakashi. She examined the wounds carefully as Jiraiya walked up behind us.

“She won’t be able to do much if we don’t remove that large branch from his side. No matter how much she heals him if that branch is there he will never completely heal, problem is though removing that branch can kill him faster than anything else meaning we’d have to work quickly.” Karin nodded in agreement and I lifted Kakashi gently into my arms. He wrapped his arm tenderly around my neck and I looked down at him. He was passing in and out; I was worried we might lose him so I quickened my pace as I walked to the infirmary. The other stayed by my side, occasionally glancing at Kakashi. As I entered the infirmary I laid Kakashi on a bed and he looked at me nervously.

“Don’t worry you’ll be okay I promise.” I squeezed his hand.

“Jiraiya, I can’t bring myself to do the pulling. Please can you do it?” Jiraiya nodded and looked down at Kakashi, Kakashi squeezed my hand tightly as Jiraiya grippd the branch and began to pull. He had to go slow in order to prevent as much damage as possible to Kakashi’s body. Kakashi arched back and yelled in agony, the branch slowly slid from his body causing god knows what damage to his insides. As the tip of the branch emerged from his flesh his blood began pouring from the wound and filling the bed he laid on. I grabbed the nearest cloth and pressed down onto the wound, Kakashi’s hand slid down my arm as his grip on me loosened. Karin opened Kakashi’s mouth and slid her arm down in between his teeth. She made him bite onto her arm as hard as possible to ensure that he would heal. Soon the blood stopped flowing and the gaping hole caused by the branch began to close and Kakashi’s color returned to his body. Karin removed her arm and Kakashi passed out. I transferred him to a clean bed and looked down at him before walking out into the hall. Jiraiya followed me but I didn’t care at that moment.

“I caused this Jiraiya. Kakashi is always getting hurt because of me and I just can’t keep putting him in that danger.” I rested my forehead against the wall and looked down at the floor.

“Kakashi came back here on his own. He knew what being around you would cause and he chose this Orochimaru. He came back to protect you from what he knew was coming, even should it cost him his life, meaning he cares so much about you. More than even I can understand. There are things you will have to answer to, but right now Kakashi needs you.” I looked over at my old friend and nodded. He gave me the same smile from our childhood and I chuckled quietly to myself.

“Thank you. Could you stay with him? I think I need some rest.” Jiraiya nodded and I walked off to my bedroom. My body was not only tired but my mind was as well. Having almost lost Kakashi again really made me think about how much I truly cared for him and I think it was time Kakashi knew everything.


	9. Chapter 9

I looked up from my desk when I heard my office door open. Kakashi walked in and sat down in a chair; it’s been almost a year since the incident with Kabuto and Kakashi has yet to ask any of the questions I know are on his mind. Kakashi has also become a fulltime Sound Ninja and has officially left the Leaf Village; much to the dismay of my old friend. Kakashi looked as though he wanted to speak and I put away the paperwork I had on my desk and paid full attention to him. He seemed to struggle with what he wanted to actually say to me and I stood up. I walked over to him and took his hand gently.

“You can say whatever you need to Kakashi, don’t be afraid to talk to me.” Kakashi looked at me and sighed.

“If you care about me so much back then, why did you allow Kabuto do what he had done to me?” Ah, there it was. The question I had been waiting for since the day I almost lost him.

“Kabuto had me convinced that once I had the eye I wouldn’t care for you anymore. He had me convinced that I only wanted you for your eye and despite knowing how much I did indeed care for you, I went with it. I had hoped so much that he was telling the truth but the kiss and that guilt was too overwhelming and I realized what I had done was wrong.” Kakashi looked up at me as I sighed heavily.

“Orochimaru, what happened after I left?” The question caught me off guard as I wasn’t ready to answer it. I still hadn’t quite come to terms with the fact that Kabuto overpowered me.

“I won’t delve too much into it but essentially a month or so after you left I heard a rumor that Kabuto was gathering ninja to overpower me. Of course being that I trusted Kabuto I thought nothing of it and ignored it, I ignored it until I overheard him talking to other sound ninja about killing me. When I heard this I began preparations to counter him but when I was busy working he decided to take advantage of it and the rest is history.” Kakashi nodded. He laid his head against my thigh and I watched him confused.

“I miss the Leaf, I don’t want to go back but I do miss it.” I rubbed his head and gently pulled down the mask that covered his mouth.

“Don’t hide your face please. You look better without it.” He chuckled.

“Yes my lord.” I got angry at his tone; it sounded like he was mocking me and I grabbed his hair, then I made him look up at me.

“Kakashi, you seem to forget, I am your superior. You are inferior and I never want to hear that tone again, you understand?” Kakashi’s eyes drew a blank as he stared up at me with tears threatening his inner corners. The curse mark slowly made its way to covering his entire body, I knew what I had done. I had angered Kakashi with my words and I knew he would try to make me afraid, just like he did Kabuto. I’ve given the curse mark to many people but none reacted the way Kakashi does, and that in itself made me fear this version of him. I drug Kakashi to the lab and threw him onto the examination table. I bound Kakashi to the table using the chains that were connected at each sides. The curse mark engulfed everything that was once Kakashi and what stared back at me now was only what I could consider a split personality, created by the trauma faced at mine and Kabuto’s hands.

“Awh, you don’t seem as frightened as the last one.” I hissed in its direction to silence it as I thought.

“How dare you shush me?!” I held out my hand and a snake shot out at the creature that Kakashi had become. It wrapped tightly around his mouth silencing him. The chains that he was bound with wouldn’t last long and soon he would realize this. When he did that would seal the fate I’ve had planned for almost a year. I needed redemption for almost killing Kakashi multiple times and whether he knew it or not Kakashi would give it to me. I released the snake from his mouth when I turned to face him.

“These chains won’t hold me much longer and I’ll kill you when I’m free.” I sighed.

“I’m counting on it.” I walked towards the door and turned off the light before exiting to my bedroom. Judging by the power of his chakra I’d give myself about three hours before he brakes free and comes after me. I reached under my bed and grabbed out a large envelope, I scrawled Kakashi’s name on the front before placing it gently on my bed where Kakashi would easily find it. I headed out to find my sound five and called them to me.

“I’ve gathered you five here because I’m stepping down as the kage of this village. My time has come to leave our world and I must abide by my fate’s chosen path. Before you ask anything, Kakashi will be taking my life and I want no one to come help me. I need all of you to know that Kakashi is not like you five, he does not react the same way you have with the curse mark. He has developed an alter ego or split personality, likely due to trama, and it’s amplified beyond even my own skill level. I need all of you to look after Kakashi after he’s returned from this state. Let him know there is an envelope on my bed that has everything he needs to know inside it, even if he refuses Kakashi will be the next kage of the sound. This is where I need you the most. People will not be happy with this change and they will try to kill him, execute anyone on sight who tries do you understand?” The sound five seemed speechless but nodded nonetheless. Karin, who I had assumed was listening close by, ran into my arms. She wept into my shirt and I pet her head gently. I would of course miss my village and everyone inside but the guilt has been eating me up nonstop and had his other self not awakened I would’ve hurt him. I know I’m supposed to be evil but I can’t around Kakashi. I can’t because I love him and because I love him I must die to protect him from the greatest threat…me.


	10. Chapter 10

I heard the echoing of chains braking throughout the mansion as I stood in my bedroom; looking into a mirror. I used to see a strong and powerful man capable of murder without hesitation and remorse, but now I see someone so heartbroken and tired because they want to protect the person they love, even if they give up their life. My bedroom door was kicked down behind me and I looked over my shoulder to see Kakashi standing there. He looked furious and I knew he still hadn’t changed back yet and when he does change back he’ll have to be on 24/7 watch so he doesn’t do something stupid. I glanced in the mirror as he approached me with a large knife in his hand; the knife I was guessing came from our kitchen because we didn’t keep knives like those in the lab. He stabbed it through my right shoulder from behind until I could see the point coming out the other side, I yelled in pain and gripped towards the knife. He slowly began twisting it but I yanked my shoulder off it.

“Prepare to die Orochimaru.” I looked at him panting.

“I’ve been prepared for over a year.” He looked confused before shrugging and slashing the blade towards me again. This time the blade cut across my arm and it didn’t hurt as much as the burning pain that my should felt. Kakashi gripped my hair and threw me onto the bed before grabbing a shirt from the closet and tearing it into long strands. He tied my hands and feet to the bed and stood over me. I watched with a sense of déjà vu as the knife neared my face and slowly traced the outline of my eye. I could tell by the look in his eye he wasn’t going to do it but he was planning something.  
“Kakashi tells me not to kill you. Too bad I won’t listen to him.” I chuckled.

“Good, don’t listen to him.” Kakashi slammed the knife into my stomach and blood came from my mouth involuntarily. I arched from the bed and screamed in pain as he hit the knife further into my body. I pulled at the cloth that bound me as my body lay flat back onto the bed.

“Ooh, that seemed to hurt.” He laughed maniacally. I could feel that I wanted to cry but I was born without tear glands so I just stared up at my lover’s split personality. He slit both of my wrists and looked down as the blood flowed. I was feeling so tired and weak as the blood flowed freely from my shoulder and wrists. I made him look into my eyes as the life had begun to leave my body. I could see a change in his eyes then I heard the heavy sobs of the real Kakashi coming through. He hurried to remove the binds as I looked up at him. He had tears streaming down his face and once the binds were removed I reached up to gently stroke his cheek.

“There’s an envelope, it’s underneath me. It contains everything you need to know once I die. Kakashi, please don’t blame yourself. I’ve had this set up for over a year.” Kakashi lifted up me up and ran towards the infirmary. I knew no one there would help me, I made sure to instruct them not to. Kakashi threw me into a bed and looked around frantically, he grabbed the stuff to do stitches and the stuff to clean wounds. I watched him carefully clean my wrists and begin stitching them up before bandaging them securely. I closed my eyes as the weakness had finally overtook me.

“I’m losing him please! Someone help me! I don’t care what he’s told you, I can’t run this village by myself! I need him please help me!” I sighed quietly as I blacked out.


	11. Chapter 11

I stared down at a photo of the man I love. He’s been in a coma for over six years and I didn’t think he’d ever come out of it. I took up my role that he wanted of me but ever since the Sound Five were slaughtered I haven’t been as confident in my role as a leader. Now even as I sit here a war is raging and until he awakens I’m powerless in saving the village. No one wants to hear their leader has fallen but I have indeed fallen without the love of the only man I ever felt anything more than simple lust for. Everything that has happened to him has been my fault, if anything I am the reason for my own injuries, not him.

“Ugh, Ka-Kakashi?” I looked up from my position and saw Orochimaru leaning against the doorframe for support. I rushed to his side; knocking over paperwork on my way. I could see he couldn’t stay up much longer so when I saw him fall I instinctively caught him.

“Why? Why am I alive, Kakashi?” I looked down at him in my arms and a few tears fell from my eyes. I held onto him tighter and closed my eyes to prevent anymore tears falling. I felt Orochimaru wipe away the tears that had rolled down my face and I opened my eyes. He looked hurt as he watched me breakdown in front of him and tried to get up again.  
“I-I couldn’t save them Orochimaru, I couldn’t lead this village, I failed everything.” Orochimaru stood above me and looked down towards me. He grabbed my arm and lifted me up from the floor, I could see the struggle in his body as the muscles he hadn’t used in almost six years suddenly had new movement to them.

“Kakashi, who couldn’t you save?” I looked up into his eyes before looking away; I was ashamed that he ever tried to protect such a weak ninja.

“Everyone. The Sound Four, Kimmimaro, and Karin. They’re all dead. They all died protecting me from the people I thought were my friends. I couldn’t fight the people I once cared so dearly for and I failed you Orochimaru. I couldn’t do this on my own, I couldn’t let you die for my sake, and I just couldn’t lose the only man I long for.” Orochimaru dropped down by my side after he dropped me and took a deep breath.

“How long since their deaths? How long have I even been asleep?” I hesitated before gathering the courage to answer him.

“The sound four have been dead for about four years, Kimmimaro died of a natural cause around the time you went into a coma, and Karin’s been dead about two months. And…I got rid of him. That day you were pronounced dead for about ten minutes, it caused the curse mark to disappear since I hadn’t undergone the ritual yet. With the curse mark being gone so was he.” Orochimaru didn’t look at me, in fact he tried everything in his power to look at anything but me. I felt so ashamed, Orochimaru put all his faith in me and I couldn’t stand up to his expectations. I don’t know what happened to me over these few years but I’ve become so incredibly pathetic. Orochimaru stood up and this time didn’t seem to have as much trouble. He grabbed me by my throat and lifted me up onto the desk. I looked into his eyes with the assumption he was going to kill me for failing, he surprised me by climbing on top of me and kissing me.

“Kakashi, I wasn’t supposed to live, but now that I have I won’t leave again. I will take over being the Kage again and I want you at my side. Do you understand?” I nodded and threw my arms around his neck, pulling him down for another kiss. He chuckled before kissing back and lifted me into his arms. He sat upright on the desk and I was in his arms with my face buried into his body as I took in his scent. He rubbed the back on my head but stopped when he noticed something.

“Why haven’t you been eating, Kakashi?” I stiffened and looked up at him.

“I thought I was going to have to let you go, you weren’t waking up and all the medical ninja were telling me it was time, but I couldn’t do it. The idea of the fact you would never wake up drove me insane.” My voice cracked at the end and he pulled me a little close.

“I woke up, that means it’s time for you to eat Kakashi.” He stood up and gently let me stand up before we both headed to the kitchen. Anyone who saw Orochimaru looked as though they saw a ghost then when they realized he was actually back they sighed in relief. Even they knew I couldn’t do this by myself. Orochimaru went about preparing a big breakfast dinner as I watched him I sighed in relief. I wouldn’t be alone anymore now that he was back, and maybe by watching him one day I can become the true kage but right now I wasn’t strong enough, nor was I brave enough, to run a whole village. Who knows, maybe we’ll eventually get married?


End file.
